Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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