ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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