The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
last night I used snow as a chaser
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
