He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
