Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
