i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
