you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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