Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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