can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you had me at cake vodka
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
