I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
