I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
