Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
