You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
