why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
