gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
