my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were trust falling into bushes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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