fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
