Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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