if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
