Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
