Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
