it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
