bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
