Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
