How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
