i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
