i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
