"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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