i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
