i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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