It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
