Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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