My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
