There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
