mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
