Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
