is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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