'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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