he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
