She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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