Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
