Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
false alarm. still invincible.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
