I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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