Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
