I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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