One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
