Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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