Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
