Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
