If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
