The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
