Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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