Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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