Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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