Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
