this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
