Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
